Friday, June 24, 2005

Arto at 6 weeks and 13 weeks Posted by Hello

I love my mobile (sometimes) Posted by Hello

Happy Third Month Birthday, Arto!

Today, aRTO is three months. My little baby is 13 weeks. He can do so many things now. He can almost hold his head up on his own completely. Yesterday I took a walk with him in his baby wrap and he was so curious about everything around him. He can copy sounds I make. Especially "ah goo." He sticks his tongue out when I do. He smiles. He laughs. Bill swears Arto headbutts him on purpose. He's very talkative when he wakes up from sleep. He eats so much more now. 5 to 6 ounces a feeding. He can entertain himself for longer stretches of time. He is finding his hands and putting them to his mouth more often.

His voice and laugh are the sweetest things.

I didn't sleep much the night before and last night went to bed past 3am and I needed to wake up early this morning. For the first time, we switched and Bill took care of him all night while I slept. Then I woke up and fed him and had to leave. I didn't get my usual fill of him until 1:30 pm and by that time I was starving for some Arto love. I missed him already! Crazy mommy.

I saw this little piece of wisdom from a parenting magazine I stole from the doctor's office, its a little needlepoint-y but its exactly how I feel right now.
"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

My bobo. Kisses for you on your third month.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bill Jr. Posted by Hello

Monday, June 20, 2005

Before and After Posted by Hello

New York is for Moms

Does the editorial staff at the New Yorker have a completely objectivist opinion of New York mothers or do these articles really represent the maternal psyche of (a significant population of) New York moms?

The two times I was compelled to pick up a New York magazine were two covers that I identified with -- the first, I was very pregnant and the second I had just given birth – thinking I would gather some “urban smart” information on New Yorkers and pregnancy and New Yorker moms with careers. Not quite.

As I read each article, I felt like I went through the five stages of new motherhood psychosis -- shock, disappointment, empathy, amusement, vindication, guilt.

I think most pregnant women go through a bipolar reaction to their changing bodies. Like most pregnant women, I both marveled at and stared in horror at how my body was changing. Arto growing inside me was my body at its most beautiful, most womanly, most glorious. That is unequivocal. But nonexclusive. Non-mom Leah also wondered if her body would ever be “normal” again. I wasn’t alone in such thoughts but I also wasn’t in the most horrified lot apparently. While I bought seasick wrist bands to ward off intermittent sprints to the bathroom and endless fighting with my gag reflex…“The pressure to stay thin has some pregnant New Yorkers actually hoping for morning sickness.” And while I struggled to squeeze in a perfunctory pregnancy yoga session in between secretly eating Spam with rice… “Many of the city’s mothers-to-be are counting every carb and pushing their heart-rate monitors to the limit to stay skinny and sexy while pregnant.” Women actually diet to lose weight prior to getting pregnant so that when they gain weight while pregnant, its all a wash!

But I think the more interesting and more sensationalist article is the most recent one on the Alpha Mom. Now, I could not have seen this article at a more opportune time. Bill and I have just been talking about my own internal struggle between being an ace mom and getting back to my own career. I love working with Bill and sharing the same goals and being a team. In fact, I enjoy it exponentially more than what I did in my old job. But there is still that part of me that wants just a “me.” So, I took on a project with a biotech company when Arto was just 4 weeks old. I figured, my mom would be here and I would have time. That is the overstatement of the year. I finished the project but it was harrowing. I wanted to be everything to Arto and still be able to do my work – Bill work and project work, not to mention just household maintenance stuff. I didn’t trust anyone else with Arto so I was with him during the day and I worked as soon as he tucked in at night. That translated to no time for sleep and no time for Leah. Which further derived, in the maternal calculus, to no fun, no patience, and a breakdown of the last vestiges of the rationality that didn’t go out with the placenta.

Which brings me back to the article. I had all the baby books but I was ravenous for information on “How to Have It All.” So I took my magazine, waited for Arto to sleep and, plopped down the sofa ready for enlightenment. But instead, the sentences were retro late-90s, internet-era…“A lot of it is very intellectually thought-out and very scheduled, almost like they have a business plan for their children…where “mothers seeking excellence,” according to press releases, would be able to find “the latest, best-of-breed information.” Business plan? Best of breed? Am I raising a child or the next IBM blade server?

But then the shock gave way to some empathy, amusement, hope. “The latest model of mother is not different from Betty but better, stronger, faster. If she seems frightening, perhaps it’s because she’s so unlike our own mothers and operates so counter to both instinct and emerging wisdom. To all the best-selling scolds who say that Mother should slow down, that we expect too much of her, the new, improved Mama says, if anything, the goalposts have been set too low. With the right planning, resources, and work ethic, you can, too, be a perfect and fulfilled woman, raising a perfect and happy child.”Really? Tell me more, please!

But like all quick fixes, the “solution” is ridiculous at best – hire a night nurse when your baby is two weeks old, a nanny and a babysitter (the difference, I do not know), work 100 hours a week but leave the office door open so that Jr. can come whenever he wants too (of course), and do not sleep more than 4 hours a night so as not to lose “business productivity.”

There is no magic pill. It’s a constant negotiation with yourself. And your partner. The experience was good. Now I know (I think.)

first post

today I took apart artos rocker which mommy feverishly built with the legs backwards so that they couldnt be removed without complete factory dissasembly of the housing. it made me feel dad like and in control for a fleeting moment. the satisfaction of seeing arto sleeping peacefully in his chair is priceless as is the work I can get done while he is chilling. he absolutely loves music. mom and I think its because all of the rehearsals.. while he was in utero he had banging beats and melodies of house hiphop and assorted jazz. plus I would always play out rhythms on moms belly. at this point arto shits on beat. Im worried that I have lost some early photos of him because my laptop literally melted and smoked to a blackened state. the hard drive may be dead and I havent backed up that computer in four or five months. please let it be recoverable. mommy and I are having a great time these last weeks as arto has hit his stride sleep wise.. with of course inevitable suprises. he is so beautiful. and this very blog is testimony to his doting parents. to all of our friends who have a more balanced perspective... try not to throw up.
artodad2 (sky's nickname is artod2 so im stealing it with modifications)

Arto picture of the day Posted by Hello

Bill's First Father's Day Gift Posted by Hello

Bill's first father's day

Yesterday was Bill's first Father's Day. He got a skateboard with an Arto decal on it. It was graf he made. We also went out on our first date since Arto was born. While Tita Kitkat and Tita Tricia watched Arto, we got away for a couple of hours to watch Benjie Reid's 13 Mics -- which was amazing -- at the NYC Hiphop Theater Festival. Storm also performed his "Solo for Two" but it was a bit of a disappointment. It was a great night. Sigh.

Not for Arto, unfortunately. Wow. Major separation anxiety. Cried like an abandoned urchin. Good thing Kit and Trish were calm. Stopped only when he heard mama's voice. Sobbed all the way home and promptly slept like a log.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Fresh Post

Arto Fresh In New Hampshire Posted by Hello

Its midnight and we put Arto down for the nth time. He keeps on getting up. Wants to stay awake with Mommy and Daddy. Thwarting mommy's efforts at giving him at least 14 hours a day of sleep. Its hard when mommy and daddy try to do some work during the day. He doesn't get as much naps. Little baby is so cute though. Dad swaddles him real well and he looks like a little burrito.

I unpacked his box of 3-6 month old hand-me-down clothes. He's outgrown his first batch of onesies and clothes. So fast. He's 12 weeks now. His three-month birthday is next week. My little man is growing up.

I like what Bill said. We're growing up with him (although he's certainly doing it faster than mom and dad).

Today a skater kid zipped by while Bill was holding the baby. He blurted, I mean blarted, "That's the cutest baby I've ever seen!" Awww. He is a cute one. I have to stop staring at him.

Youwantapieceofme? Posted by Hello

Hello world.

hello blartoers...
we here in blarto land would like to welcome your blartaciousness. if in the zone.. just blart it out.